8 Reasons Why I Haven't Been Writing Consistently

Posted on Dec 21, 2022

tl;dr: My eight reasons are just excuses for not writing.

Introduction

I’m touching the bumps on the F and J keys, ready to type out my first sentence.

My fingers aren’t moving. I’m staring at the wall, and nothing’s happening.

9:00 a.m. turns to 10:00 a.m., and the seconds keep counting. My blank page is still empty. 😿

My mind keeps saying I don’t know what to write.

What is wrong with me? 🧐

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Backstory

I’m not proud of my public writing life. That’s because I don’t have a semblance of a public writing life. 😒

In the early months of 2012, I bought a domain name, paid a year’s worth to a website host, set up my website, and wrote one article.

It had been months since I posted on my website. Then I read an email from the website host that the hosting fee would expire in a month. Before the month’s end, I deleted my blog.

I got work-shy. I procrastinated.

I chose watching TV shows and movies and playing video games over writing content.

In the following years, I tried keeping new blogs for the second and third time. Both tries again ended with the same result: deleted blogs.

I excelled in my work-shy ability and procrastinating.

But why am I work-shy and procrastinating when it comes to writing?

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STFU Mind!

Reason 1: I’m overthinking

Overthink: “to think too much about (something): to put too much time into thinking about or analyzing (something) in a way that is more harmful than helpful”

While in college, around the Fall of 2020, my overthinking appeared during the first weeks of my JavaScript language course.

The assignment had simple instructions, and I couldn’t understand them. I had thoroughly read the assigned chapter, but the logic behind the basic JavaScript concepts confused me, and I panicked.

My head overflowed with thoughts like:
I’m a bonehead.
JavaScript is too complicated, or I’m going to fail this class.

Annoyed and upset, I shared my panic on the JavaScript course’s Discord channel. This channel was our class’s space where my classmates and I could inquire about or discuss assignments and concepts.

A few classmates and my instructor replied that I was overthinking the assignment.

“Don’t overthink the assignment,” my professor wrote.

“Read the chapter, try and understand the concepts. Take the problems one at a time. Take a deep breath. You can do it.”

Geez, easier said than done, I thought.

A few of my classmates offered they’ll help if I got stuck.

What does overthinking a JavaScript assignment have anything to do with not writing consistently?

JavaScript is a programming language used on the web and mobile applications.

Learning JavaScript was like learning a foreign language like Spanish. The learning process is similar, and you must be willing to learn the syntax so that the application or human can understand what you’re instructing or saying.

Gone are my overthinking days with JavaScript. Thank God! 😌

To be minimally proficient with JavaScript, you must learn its basic concepts and syntax and practice writing it.

If you’re overthinking about JavaScript confusing you, you’re not writing and learning the language.

So, as in writing, I’m overthinking if I’m thinking too much and not writing.

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Reason 2: My self-expectation to always give my best blocks me

I won’t settle for mediocre. I won’t deliver subpar work that reflects that I didn’t give my best.

My belief in not settling for mediocre work began in seventh grade.

I had a classmate, we’ll call her Lorelei, who aced our class subjects.

One day, at the start of one of our classes, while waiting for our teacher, one of my classmates asked Lorelei why she was so good at doing everything.

Lorelei said she was not so good at doing everything. She just liked giving her best because excelling always made her feel great.

What Lorelei said changed me.

About a week later, we created a history timeline during our World History class. I volunteered to draw Vladimir Lenin’s one-inch square portrait.

I challenged myself to illustrate my best Lenin portrait.

And my best I did! My teacher and classmates liked Lenin’s portrait and kept telling me they liked it. 😅

With pride, I taped Lenin’s portrait onto our history timeline. I felt great.

Since then, I’ve consistently had high self-expectations to give my best work.

How can always wanting to give my best work prevent me from writing consistently?

Wanting always to give my best can drive me to excel, but my self-expectations can become unrealistic.

I’m attached to my expectation that I don’t see the reality. I have a vision stuck in my head of how the outcome will play out. If the event doesn’t go where I want it to, I’ll get disappointed and frustrated that I can’t decide or act during the next step.

Suppose I have high self-expectations about wanting to be the world’s most excellent writer. In that case, this expectation can hurt me, and my expectation is unrealistic.

No one is the world’s most excellent writer because many fantastic writers exist.

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Reason 3: I spend time together with perfectionism anxiety

Perfectionism anxiety is that staring creepy figure wearing a long black overcoat.

They’re mocking me:
“You’re not good enough, you’re writing is not good enough, you suck!
What would people think of your writing?”

Perfectionism anxiety is not my friend! They collaborate with fear to keep me from writing!

The truth is that some writers may be better than me, and I may be better than some writers. But who cares about who’s better?

The amateur dreads becoming who she really is because she fears that this new person will be judged by others as ‘different.’
Here’s the truth: the tribe doesn’t give a shit.

― Steven Pressfield

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Reason 4: I procrastinate a lot

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.

― Pablo Picasso

Because I enjoy these activities, I spend my time watching a movie or TV show, playing my favorite video game, or reading how-to articles instead of writing, and doing these activities is easier than writing.

I can write later. But the truth is I don’t know what might happen later.

This is our big mistake: to think we look forward to death.
Most of death is already gone.
Whatever time has passed is owned by death.

— Seneca

Procrastinating means putting off an activity, writing, that I should complete intentionally and habitually.

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Reason 5: I’m avoiding the work

I don’t like writing because it’s a lot of work. And deciding on a topic to write about and hunkering down to write can be dull.

I dreamt of becoming a writer while I was in grade school. But I didn’t learn then that writing is a lot of work.

I prefer less work and exciting activities like watching movies and playing video games.

If money came out of my ears, I’d indulge myself with daily movie watching and video game play.

It’s okay to indulge myself with entertaining low-brain power activities. But I must push myself to write because I know that consistently writing helps me be better at it.

Writing experts say I can’t learn to write better if I don’t write or do the work.

Reason 6: I fear vulnerability

I sometimes fear what the public might think of me and my imperfections.

Sorry, no skeletons in the closet here. I’m just a very private person.

I write my opinions and thoughts in the comfort of my journal, where I can be most sincere and vulnerable.

And writing is a vulnerable act because writing exposes me.

Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.
People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.

― Brené Brown

It’s weird, but I like the person more when I learn about their vulnerability. I can relate to them. I can see that I’m not the only one who thinks, feels, and acts a certain way. I feel closer to them even though I don’t know them in person.

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Reason 7: Writing isn’t my ’enthusiasm’

Enthusiasm: “strong excitement of feeling, something inspiring”

In the Winter of 2019, I used my ’enthusiasm’ for playing video games to run my video game playthrough channel on YouTube. But my attempt became a chore, and I closed my channel.

I discovered that running a YouTube channel is a lot of work and can give me impatience and anxiety. I didn’t appreciate playing for an audience, editing, and uploading videos on YouTube. I was impatient with the uploading wait time. I had perfectionism anxiety every time I was recording gameplay.

I learned I prefer to avoid editing videos, creating thumbnails, showing my face, or talking on video. When I videogame, I don’t talk at all. Talking while dropping enemies is counterproductive because talking distracts me.

While I had my YouTube channel, my ’enthusiasm’ for video gameplay faded. Repeating forcing myself to play, edit, and upload became a job.

Enthusiasm alone is not enough for me.

Redefining what I’m enthusiastic about and what I’m good at

Instead of asking myself, “what am I enthusiastic about” I should ask:

What am I good at that gives me good energy while doing that activity for hours?

What am I good at that will sustain me in my lifestyle?

I’m good at writing and drawing faces.

Writing and drawing give me good energy while I’m doing these activities. I can write or draw for hours without feeling stressed and bored.

Here’s a tip for writing/drawing to sustain my lifestyle:
Creating quality content is essential, which might help me make a living and support my lifestyle.

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Reason 8: Public writing is challenging

Academic writing is easier than public writing. With academic writing, the instructions are set, and all I must do is follow the instructions. With public writing, I must create content out of nothing.

The differences between academic writing and public writing

Academic writing

Usually, within the hour, I can quickly produce the ideas the professor requests for assignments and online class discussions.

Academic writing has instructions with two or more specific questions on which I must base the essay, word counts, and deadlines.

The assignments have rubrics.

Based on the assignment, a quality point, between 10 and 100 points, is the reward after completing and sending the project before the due date.

Public writing

Deciding on a topic to write about can take me hours, days, or weeks.

With public writing, I find a topic to write about that must be interesting for me, and that informs, entertains, or teaches.

I compose my instructions and decide my word count and my deadline.

My audience gives me feedback through comments, follows, and subscribes.

If I don’t produce content, my website or blog has no content, and I don’t have an audience.

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Conclusion

Stop all the above drama and keep writing!

Now that I see my reasons, my reasons are excuses for not writing consistently.

There’s no such thing as writer’s block.
That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.

— Terry Pratchett

Thank you for reading!

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